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                              (THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!)

PLACES & PEOPLE WHO SELL MY LEMONADE:

Vital Zuman - A sustainable, organic farm in Malibu: www.vitalzuman.com

BALSAMIC LEMONADE:

$5 for a 1-quart bottle, or $40 for a 10 bottle case.

A REFRESHING BLEND OF WATER, CERTIFIED ORGANIC LEMONS, CERTIFIED ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, AND A COMBINATION OF 10-YEAR, 12-YEAR AND 18-YEAR AGED BALSAMIC VINEGARS.

If you mix two parts of this lemonade with one part of vodka you may engage in shocking and disgraceful behavior that you will regret the rest of your life. Please do not blame the lemonade, or for that matter, the vodka. Look at yourself in the mirror, and like all good Americans, place the blame where it belongs. On your parents. If you should happen to be filmed while “liberated”, please email the link to me. I find humor and “stimulation” in such things. Especially if you are an attractive woman just barely over the age of consent.

Made in Malibu, CA by an honest-to-goodness Malibu local. We support local, certified organic farms. This product is always fresh-squeezed, not pasteurized.

1 QUART (SCREW THE METRIC SYSTEM! USA #1!)

ORDER NOW! malibu.monkey@verizon.net

BASIL-INFUSED LIMEADE:

$5 for a 1-quart bottle, or $40 for a 10 bottle case.

A REFRESHING BLEND OF WATER, CERTIFIED ORGANIC LIMES, CERTIFIED ORGANIC CANE SUGAR, AND CERTIFIED ORGANIC BASIL.

There was a time when men wouldn’t dare drink something called “basil-infused limeade” for fear of being called rude names. These days, men get pedicures, cry and share desserts in restaurants with other men. No really, I’ve seen them do it. Maybe it's just an LA thing, like cosmetic surgery for pets. Ever see a dachshund with implants? That's like five pairs, dude. Botox for a 100 year-old tortoise makes sense, like Joan Rivers. Her face is as smooth as a new wok. But I digress… In itself, drinking this "basil-infused limeade" doesn't make you any less of a man. Rather, it's how you hold the bottle. Try to look angry. Spill some out on the ground for your dead homeys. And for God's sake, keep your pinkie down!

Made in Malibu, CA by an honest-to-goodness Malibu local. We support local, certified organic farms. This product is always fresh-squeezed, not pasteurized.

1 QUART (SCREW THE METRIC SYSTEM! USA #1!)

ORDER NOW! malibu.monkey@verizon.net